The week I realized I am most certainly human

What. a. week.

I was in a funky mood this week. I think part it stemmed from Mark had to do a lot of studying so I saw him for an hour when I got home and then he went back to base to study or was studying in the kitchen, or both, and that was a bummer. My deepest, sincerest sympathies to those of you who have significant others in med/law/dentist/post-grad/any-other-schooling-that-takes-most-of-their time. The other part of me is just so torn with so many things I want and hope and dream to do in my life. I'm restless. I'm bored with being a dietitian. I keep talking about culinary school to be a pastry chef with Mark and he's all for it and so am I but I have to wait because there isn't the right program here and I don't know how long we'll be here so I have to wait. Waiting. 99% of the time I do not like waiting. 

You know when you're in a funky mood or an impatient-you-want-dreams-to-happen-RIGHTTHISSECOND mood and there are certain things you should stay away from? Things that you know will make your mood worse? Well. Sometimes I'm a masochist so I do those things anyway. And/or, I do them and instead of controlling my emotions I let them take over completely. I was reading some blogs my mom recommended and I love them. One of them is Bluebirdbaby about a sweet family that lives in an old restored church in Maine. The blog is brilliant and beautiful and fun. I love it. Work was WIIIIIIIICKED slow a couple of afternoons this week so I read the blog. And then one of the nurses on one of the floors I cover recently visited someone in Boston and was going on and on and on and on about how wonderful it was and how her friend lives in Nashua and it was so close to Boston. I just stood there and smiled brightly, one on hand wanting to jump in and tell her all of the cool things and places to eat in Boston and on one hand wanting to cry because I was jealous and envious. Jealousy. Good, old-fashioned jealousy. Green with envy. Mad. So between that and the blog, I was home sick. And mad that I'm stuck in the middle-of-nowhere Texas where it was in the upper 80s this week and I wanted to melt. Yes. I know. I complained about this to my brother and knew I shouldn't have said anything since New England is preparing for yet another snow storm. Oops. 

And then I was reading another blog, Floret Flowers. A family owns a farm where they grow ACRES of flowers in Washington state. And the pictures. Mesmerizing. Wow. I also spent time reading post after post after post jotting down notes and planning my own gardens someday. An herb garden. A vegetable garden. A flower cutting garden. The varieties I want and the ones that grow well together and when they bloom and which are annuals and perennials. And there it was again. A ping of envy. How much I ache for a real house and land to garden. I know I'll have that someday but then impatience surges through my veins and that quickly turns to frustration. Next I knew it, my cute pots of flowers weren't good enough. I wasn't good enough. I felt stupid and mad and incompetent and hopeless. Impatience gets me almost every time. 

So. One day after work I decided to just peek at the plants Home Depot had. Just a peek. Just to make myself feel better and be surrounded by flowers and maybe help me add a few more to my list for my future garden. I don't need any more plants but I just... wanted to...see. And then I walked out with these:

Succulents meant for our bedroom window to greet us in the morning.

Gerber daisies because I decided I needed more color and had too much purple. Plus I can cut them and put them in vases!

And after reading about Floret's farm and seeing the magnificent arrangements she has created I decided I also want to take some floral design classes. While I was in college I took a floral design class to fulfill the required "arts" credit. No joke, it was one of my favorite classes. Learning about flowers and then creating arrangements and getting credit for it. Yes PLEASE. It was a blast! My last semester and shortly after I graduated I worked at a wholesale flower placed called "Mountain Bloom" just because they needed extra help for the holidays. That has been my favorite job. Hours of creating bouquets and arrangements. It was so much fun. It's my own way of being an artist. Pairing different colors and textures together. It's delightful. And much like baking, how can anyone get upset by flowers? 

So on a whim I sent a message to a woman who owns a local flower shop asking if she needs some extra help during the holidays and I'd do it for free just to learn and get some experience. I didn't think about it until 2 days later when I actually got a response! We've been playing phone tag the past few days so hopefully we'll finally have a conversation tomorrow. I'm giddy and nervous and there are moments where I think WHAT I am I doing??? Or I shouldn't have done that. But what have I got to lose? I hope she lets me help. I certainly think I would love it!!!

Toward the end of the week my mood got better. My first pot of grape hyacinths is doing well and lately I've been watching a bee come and visit them and pollenate them. But, sadly, I think their blooming is coming to an end so I've snipped two small bouquets so I can enjoy them before this pot is done. I think the heat expedited their blooming. 

But my second pot is coming along nicely! I've decided that if the weather is forecasted to get too hot, I'll bring them inside where it's cooler to try to elongate their bloom time so I can enjoy them a little longer. 

On to DIY project updates.

I think we've finally completed all of, or most of, the DIY projects we had on our list. Mark sanded down two night stands he had and we repainted them. The one on the left is Mark's (hence the star...gotta represent Texas!) and the one on the right is mine. 

 

Saturday Mark went golfing so I spent the afternoon running errands and wandering around downtown. The boutiques here are crazy. I don't get the fashion. I walked into every boutique and then walked out about 1-2 minutes later. Yikes. It's like bohemian/gypsy/bold/I don't even know how to describe it. It's not me, that's for sure. I popped into Pier One just to look around and found a cute plate I knew belonged in my kitchen (the one on the very top)! I love birds. The cute singing kind. There are lots of grackles here that are eery and creepy. Beady little eyes and strange calls. Yuck. I loved my room growing up because of the four walls, three had two windows each. It always so bright in my room. Every morning I woke up to birds...or Scotty pawing my face to wake up...but usually birds.   

I found Fiona, that's what I've named her because I name a lot of things I have, at Hobby Lobby a week or so ago and decided I had to have her to decorate our book shelf.  

And we finally got a new dresser! I found one I liked for over $1000 at a furniture store but that was WAY more than I was willing to pay. Then a colleague recommended a wholesale place because we have been looking for a nice reading chair and though we didn't find a chair, we found this for a fraction of the cost and got it. It arrived this week and I love it! 

The flower arrangement for the week. The sunflowers I bought lasted two weeks! Two! I was so pleased but they quickly started wilting 2 days ago and I wasn't going to buy another bouquet but I love hydrangeas and they were so cheap! Thank you HEB. 

These have been my new lounge wear for the past...4 days. 

This morning it rained. The weather has been saying a 30-40% chance of rain the past few days and nothing. We got nothing. So I have stopped believing it would actually rain. BUT, this morning while I was getting ready for church Mark told me it was really raining so I flung open the door and skipped outside. It was raining! Aw the smell of rain. Happiness! So after church I watched "The Three Musketeers" from 1993. What a great cast: Chris O'Donnell, Tim Curry, Kiefer Sutherland, Oliver Platt, and Charlie Sheen (before he went crazy). Good flick. Last night we watched "Parent Trap," the one with Lindsey Lohan (when she was young and cute). I remember I got that movie for Christmas one year on VHS and must have watched it 4 or 5 times on Christmas day. And every day that week. I love that movie, and the original. And tonight I made risotto for the first time. We liked it! And per Mark's request, I made cinnamon roll cookies. So I'm going to go eat my 5th another one. 

Shopping rules, super glue fixes, and DIY torches, er, candles

I have a rule.

When I find something, whatever it may be, and decide not to buy it, but continue to think about it for days, then I know I should have it. Such was the case. I found a pair of pants that I really liked at The Loft, which is very rare because I've never liked pants from The Loft. Well, surprise!, I do now. They are orange! A pretty orange. PERFECT for fall! I tried them on during my shopping last weekend, but didn't buy them. Liked them, may have loved them, but decided I didn't want to pay full price. BUT THEN!, I got an e-mail on Monday that The Loft was having a sale so I went back and had a horrible pants experience (for whatever reason I was feeling bold and decided to try on some jeans...no dice), so I bought nothing and vowed I would never buy jeans or pants again. Never. It was the emotion of the moment. Don't lie, you've been there. Then I called my mom and we talked about shopping and pants and ranted and vented about how awful it is shopping for pants and I felt better....aka my self esteem was back in tact. Bruised badly, but back. 

Despite the rollercoaster of emotions regarding pants this week, I decided that since I could not stop thinking of those orange pants, I needed to see them again. So I headed back to the mall today (this is the most I have ever been to the mall in...ever?...twice in a week?!!? Yeah, I know. I'm that girl) and tried them on and I loved them. I started envisioning fall outfits, and that alone made me giddy, and they were still on sale so I bought them. Done. I am very pleased. 

AND!!! I have been told from at least 6 people in the past week that American Eagle jeans are awesome. Since I am not longer in high school, I didn't feel I was "of age" to be shopping there but feeling bold after my success at The Loft today, I went in and tried on some jeans. I was very pleased. No purchases were made as I had other things to buy today, but I will try them out again.

AND!!! I got a coupon in the mail for 40% off at the Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy outlets and what do you know, I just happen to live near Tangor Outlets. So after my mall excursions, I headed to the outlets and got some wicked deals. Love it! 

All this and I saved $96! YAH! 

Now, I did have one minor casualty today. I was wearing my new shoes that I got for a steal of a deal last week. Please see my previous post for details. Well, as I was exiting the mall, all of the sudden something felt weird on my left foot. My shoe felt loose. I looked down to check the strap and it seemed fine so I kept walking. But it still felt weird!!! Once I got outside, I sat on a bench and upon further inspection, and to my dismay, one of the straps on the left side of my left shoe had come OUT of the shoe and that's why it was feeling loose. Basically my shoe was partially broken. I was devastated, but it looked fixable. And since you couldn't really tell, and the shoes were still functional, I decided instead of going home and switching shoes, I would continue on with my shopping endeavors. Once I got home I busted out the super glue, which got all over my fingers of course, and poured heaps of glue onto the strap and shoved it back into the slit of my shoe. And then poured more super glue over it just to make sure that bugger wasn't ever coming out again! 

I let the glue dry and then a little while later tugged on it. It seems to be stuck but we'll see the next time I wear them. Hopefully this did the trick or I will be very, very sad.

My pals Amy and Jen, and I like to have Ladies Night, which usually consists of dinner and a Pinterest craft. This past Friday we decided to make our own mason jar candles. They seemed simple enough. We even added some essential oils (lavender!) and they turned out great. 

The only thing is the wicks are HUGE. About as big around as my middle finger. That's fine and dandy and all, but apparently it's safest best to shove the wick down as far as you can before you light it. Amy did not do this initially, and her candle was our guinea pig, so when she lit her candle, it was like a torch. I'm NOT even kidding you. The flame was probably 6-8 inches high. Jen and I were on the floor laughing as Amy tried to carefully carry her torch candle to the sink to blow it out without singeing  her eyebrows. Again, Jen and I were holding our stomachs on the floor laughing. Ah Ladies Nights are always a blast. 

And let it be know that this week I will finally get to see my fiance after almost 2 months of being apart. THANK. THE. STARS. I am ready to burst with excitement! We will be taking our engagement pictures!!!!!! But seriously, I'm just happy to see Mark again.