Throwback

Sorry. I'm not going to post throwback pictures of me or something. At least not for this post. Maybe another time. BUT. This week has been a throwback week. At least the last few days have been. Mark and I were reminiscing about the good old days after reading 50 Things That Look Just Like Your Childhood. We were delighted to be reminded of orange VHS tapes (Harriet the Spy!!!), French Toast Crunch, AOL Instant Messenger, the Pierre Escargot, Heads-Up 7 Up (still one of my favorite games), Gigapets, and other wonderful things from our childhood. This led to a fun reminiscent discussion about the good, quality Saturday Morning cartoons and our favorite shows on the Disney channel and Nickelodeon. GOOD times! The shows these days just pale in comparison. It's sad really.

So. Saturday morning I woke up, took Scotty out, poured myself a bowl of cereal (with chocolate chips because, hey, it's Saturday) and watched one of my favorites: Rocky and Bullwinkle. Thank you YouTube!!!

Today I think I might watch Gummi Bears. I LOVED that show. 

I also did some baking because...I love it. Because it makes me happy. Because it relieves my stress. Because I enjoy it. Because I was craving some things. Etc., etc., etc.

My new faaaaaavorite thing is "ice cream" made of just frozen bananas and peanut butter. I LOVE IT!!!!! 

2 overripe bananas cut into coins and frozen thrown into a food processor with 2 generous spoonfuls of peanut butter (or however much PB you desire). Toss with chocolate chips and voila!, a healthy version of ice cream. Friends, it's the bomb. I am going to try it with just bananas and strawberries too. 

THEN. I found a recipe for pretzel buns and decided it was a MUST. Super easy to make and holy catscans are they good. I brought some into work and froze the rest...except I ate the last one today and am going to make some more...today. They are THAT good. Recipe at the end of the post!

Friday Amy created a training plan for my next half marathon in October. Whoa baby. It's definitely do-able, but it's going to push me. Yikes! New kickin' PR here I come!

Yesterday karma and the world were against me. I blame the heat and humidity, paper-thin patience, and fatigue but OH MY LANTUS it was ridiculous. It was one of those days where it was one annoying thing after another. I'm not going to waste your and my time talking about it because the day is over but let me just say, I am not a fan of shopping at Wal-Mart to begin with, but I HATE it on Saturdays. Plus some lady with a MAAAASSSIVE cart full of things cut in front of me. I was fuming. THIRTY minutes later, I finally left Wal-Mart. Yeah, not a happy camper. BUT I did get these beauts!

And I have discovered my new favorite Greek yogurt (of which I am obsessed): Dannon's Light and Fit coconut vanilla. HOLY MOLY it's so good. It was my first time trying it--I think it's brand new--and I only bought three. DRATS! Next time I go, I am clearing Wal-Mart of their supply. So. Good. And with chocolate chips...pardon me while I die of happiness. Oh and, BONUS, it's only 80 cals. Yes, indulge away! 

And another good thing from my Wal-Mart experience, my chocolate chip jar is now restocked and therefore all is right in the world. And I even got some PB chips so now I can finally make my copy cat chocolate PB Levain cookies! 

AND. HOME IN TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(To come: Mom, Heath and Emma, Soucys, GP, Lagos, Shake Shack, seafood and so much more). I AM READY TO BURST I AM SO HAPPY! Oh New England I love you.

Pretzel Buns (from Yammie's Noshery)

Makes ~12 (I think you could get about 16...they get pretty big)

2 cups milk1 1/2 Tablespoons (2 packets) active dry yeast
6 Tablespoons brown sugar
4 Tablespoons butter, melted
4 1/2 cups flour (I used 5-5 1/2...maybe because it's so flippin' humid right now...)
2 teaspoons fine salt


1/3 cup baking soda
3 cups warm water (I'd recommend boiling the water because my pretzels didn't get that nice brown "pretzel" look...but they still tasted wicked good)!
Coarse salt
6 tablespoons butter, melted

Warm up the milk in the microwave or on the stove for just about one and a half minutes. It should be about 110º. If it's too hot it will kill the yeast. You should be able to comfortably keep your finger in it. Stir in the yeast and let it sit for about 3 minutes. Add the butter and sugar. Add the flour about 1 cup at a time and the add the fine salt. Kneed for about 10 minutes with a stand mixer, or by hand. Put it in a greased bowl and cover with greased cling wrap. Let rise for 1 hour in a moist, warm place until doubled in size. Preheat the oven to 375º. Punch down dough and divide into 12 lumps (I like to divide it in half, then divide each half into three, and then divide each remaining one in half again). Roll them into balls. Combine the warm water and baking soda in a wide bowl. Dip each ball in the baking soda water and then cut a slit in the top with a serrated knife. Place on a greased baking sheet and sprinkle with coarse salt. Bake for about 9-15 minutes or until browned. Brush with melted butter. INDULGE. Good, huh?

The Patient I Want To...Punch In the Face

I have an obese diabetic patient who I just want to deck in the face. I HATE disrespectful, know-it-alls, particularly when they are grown men who act like a child. This man is utterly convinced that because he was an EMT earlier in his life and because he spent 55 days at Mass General Hospital, he knows more than every specialist, hospitalist, doctor, nurse, case manager, director, dietitian, social worker and therapist who is involved in this man's care. GET. OUT. NOW.

Apparently some doctor placed this man on a hybrid insulin and so the patient self-administers his own insulin. Uh...OK. The amount he administers is INSANELY high and it's basically whatever he wants. He estimates and guesses. I mean there's a difference between carb counting and estimating on that, and just shooting yourself up with a HUGE amount of insulin so you can eat whatever you want. 

Upon our first--which would become a series of very unfortunate and VERY frequent--visit he informed me he needed more carbohydrates and after bypassing the restriction I got an urgent call from our response center saying he was eating well over 3500 calories. Listen here, porkchop, you DO NOT need to have that many calories to meet your carbohydrate needs.

So enter the battlefield I did. 

This patient informed me that sugar and carbohydrates are not the same thing. Uh...OK. And that swiss cheese and American cheese have differing influences of your blood sugar. Uh...OK...MINUS the fact that cheese is considered a "free" food buddy. But hey, what do I know? He's the "expert EMT" genius. It's people like this who make my blood boil.

Well, I busted out my charm, threw down a  few jokes, eased the tension, and we bonded. BAD, BAD, BAD move. Every day since then I get paged anywhere from 1-10 times per day with complaints. He whines he's not getting enough food and that's why his blood sugars dip, waaa waaa waaa. Yeah ok. STOP SHOOTING YOURSELF UP WITH SO MUCH FREAKIN' INSULIN!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE. Moron. I got paged, I'm not kidding you, 8 times today about every little thing. You see I have patients who actually require my attention and intervention, like the patient who can't eat because his intestines are blocked and is on TPN (nutrition through a tube stuck in your veins). I couldn't care less that you were missing your stupid fork with your snack, especially since there are plastic forks available ON THE FLOOR IN THE KITCHEN 5 FEET AWAY FROM YOUR DOOR!!! QUIT WASTING MY TIME!!!! 2 1/2 hours of my time!!!! Oh my lantus I wanted to pop him in the gut today. *deep breaths* Oh and then I got paged because the kitchen was out of sausage patties and he wanted to speak to me. So I went into his room and he told me the kitchen called to say they were out of sausage and he wanted to know what to order. OH. MY. LANTUS. What are you, 4???? So ladies and gentlemen I had to order his meal for him, and when he didn't get his Swiss cheese he refused his entire tray. He better not page me tomorrow or Angry Ginge will make an appearance. And if I have to listen to him tell me ONE MORE TIME about his hybrid insulin, or that fact that he was a patient at Mass General, or call me sweetie and repeat that same freakin' sob story to me for the 15th time (apparently I'm doubling as his therapist too), I'm going to stuff white bread in his mouth, WITH CHEESE! *gasp* And to top it all off, he keeps calling me Gabby. Imma bust a cap on this fool. 

Oh and my favorite thing with him is, if he doesn't get his way, he threatens to sign himself out against medical advice and then when we tell him we are discharging him home, he throws a hissy fit, refuses therapy, complains he can't breathe. Oh it is a theatrical performance at its finest. Two thumbs and four stars. I've seen identical performances from 4-year-old children that I babysit. Nicely done you over-sized baby in a man's body. 

Yeah. It's been that kind of a day/week.

In other news my fruit leather came out...kind of. I don't have a food processor or blender so it wasn't a very homogeneous, smooth consistently to begin with. Oh well!

This is what it looked like when I peeled it off the plastic: 

 Then I rolled it....

 Then I ate it. 

YUM!

Recipe here. Yes it does take 12-16 hours, but you can break it up. I did not use sugar. I used strawberries, lemon juice, a dash of vanilla (which I highly recommend) and maybe 1-2 tsp of sugar substitute. It's awesome. Make it. Eat it. Love life.

Curiosity satiated. At least temporarily.

I rushed home as fast as I could and much to my dismay there was another sticky note on my door from the UPS man. BUT it was delivered next door!!!! Package delivered. THANK GOODNESS. 


So, I had my suspicions and I was RIGHT! My dear, dear, dear friend Lillian sent me a package with......

DRIED PEARS!!!!!!!!

Dried pears are soooo good. Do you know how difficult it is to find dried pears in the grocery store? Nearly impossible. I have only ever been able to find them in fancy, shmancy grocery stores like Fresh Market, Trader Joes, etc. They are definitely one of my favorite treats ever. They are right up there with chocolate. Well, let's not get crazy. They are a few notches below chocolate, but I love dried pears (and chewy, dried strawberries) more than any dried fruit so imagine my eyeballs when I saw I had not one, not two, but three pounds of dried pears!!! OH HAPPY DAY!!!! I popped them in my mouth like candy. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had about 6 (uh huh, or 8) of them. Delish. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU LILLIAN!!!! Gosh I love her. 


Next. Let's talk about shopping. I do not like shopping. I can handle 3-5 stores max, depending on their size. Three department stores and maybe 2 smaller stores on a really good day and then I'm done. My stamina and tolerance for shopping is very low. Even when I find things I like and get things for a rockin' deal, I just don't enjoy shopping. My technique is more get in, avoid eye contact with the people meeting and greeting and telling me about the deal which is advertised in HUGE, BOLD posters both in and outside the store, on flyers, and on TV, look around, and then get out and be done with it. If nothing captures my attention within the first few minutes of cruising through the store, forget it. 


It's basically the same with the grocery store except I'm actually much more susceptible because it's food we're talking here. Cereal, ice cream, chocolate, cheese, images of baking goodies playing in my head. You get the picture. Also, I have a technique for grocery shopping. Well, kind of. I prefer to go when there are as few people as possible. I had to grab a few items this evening and I decided to wait until 8pm. Beautiful. When I was at BYU, my roommate and best bud Shawna and I would go to Macey's at, oh, midnight, 1am, sometimes 2am. Macey's is, in my opinion, THE best grocery store ever. I have yet to find a grocery store that I like as much as I love Macey's and I've lived a lot of places and been to a lot of grocery stores. Oh Macey's, how I miss you, your set-up, fantastic prices, and deals. And King Kone. And fresh, perfectly baked baguettes. It was AWESOME. Anyway, I popped in, grabbed what I needed (aaaand a few things I had to have i.e. Oatmeal Square cereal, instant sugar-free chocolate pudding, and herb tea--more on this in a second) and was out. I even went to the self-check out lane. I mean business. 

Really my objective was to get some perishable groceries I had neglected to get a couple of weeks ago AND I had to get these:

That's right friends. Some friends and I are making three, read it, THREE kinds of rice crispy treats tomorrow and watching "Tangled." Have you seen that movie? If not, you must see it. Stat. It's one of my favorite animated movies. I am psyched. That's an understatement. I'm SO excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, let's chat about tea for a quick sec.
I went to the tea aisle. Objective: get herb tea. For the love. It took me, I kid you not, about 10 minutes to find the freakin' herb tea. I found HERB tea for every ache, pain, and situation possible and in every concoction and flavor. Then, I found GREEN tea for every ache, pain, and situation possible. Then black tea. It's a wonder I didn't find a love potion one, one to help me make a million dollars, and one to make me live for forever. Geez. Blueberry, peach zinger, tea sampler, chamoille, 5 different "sleepy time" ones, ones bursting with antioxidants, some for pain, stress. PEPPERMINT HERB TEA. That's all I wanted. I then found a sampler with it--getting warmer! And then finally behind some peach zingers I found my beloved. 

And, uh, somehow that Sleepytime Vanilla got into my cart. Well, uh, that tea is calling my name so I'm out. I'll let you know how it tastes! 

Song of the day: cover of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep," vocals by Amanda Scott and music by The Piano Guys. I'm really tired of this song so this was a nice way to bring it back into my good listening graces. Please listen/watch HERE (youtube). OR you could watch a SWEET cover of Coldplay's "Paradise" HERE. No really. Go check either or both out. Go! Gogo!