Defeated.

I was inspired by these brilliant cookies I found on pinterest and I thought it would be really cool and festive (Cinco de Mayo!) to make them for staffing this week and for a little get together tomorrow evening. 

 Pinata cookies. I mean that has got to be one of the coolest ideas ever. 

Legit, right?

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!!!!!

The sugar cookie recipe for these bad boys was terrible. Or maybe it was just me. But seriously, when I split the dough to dye, the balls of dough were oozing oil, and I was suspicious of this recipe to begin with because of the amount of oil it called for but I thought since the author used it and they turned out so well, I should too. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. The dough was crumbly (probably because the dang oil leaked out...or something), didn't taste very good, and like I said, pretty much bleeding oil. I layered teh dough and froze it over night, let it thaw a little, went to cut it and it just shattered and crumbled. Literally. Gross. I was mad. And frustrated. So I threw it all away. 10 cups flour and lots of butter wasted. Bust. Failure. Failure I tell you!!! Curse you sugar cookies!!!!! Not a happy girl.

But don't worry. That was my Plan B. My Plan A was to make these:

Sombrero Cookies!!!

Well. First of all I visited the website and the author used store bought cookies and store bought frosting. I refuse to bake from a box. I'm not a snob, well, maybe that makes me as snob, but I prefer to make my own things from scratch. That's not to say I've never baked from a box, but I avoid at all costs. So, I made the sugar cookies (different recipe that the failed pinata cookies). Yummy recipe. Lookin' good. Baked the cookies and all was looking well. I decided to use my Magnolia Bakery buttercream frosting recipe and....it didn't turn out so well. It was too runny. So I added more sugar and whipped it for longer. Still runny. Not impressed. I was getting annoyed because I was on a time crunch after work to get all of this done before I had meetings and things this evening. Thought whatever and placed the frosting in the fridge to set. Got home at 9:30pm and attempted to assemble. Frosting still too runny so the sprinkles and frosting were EVERYWHERE. There might still be some sprinkles stuck to my foot. I'll probably find them in random places for the next...forever. So what will Dr. W and the staff get tomorrow? Plain sugar cookies. And they will like them!

And. To top it off. It's BLIMEY HOT AND HUMID AND I'M ABOUT TO GO MAD!!! (Secretly I'm blaming the humidity for my baking mishaps). I don't like summer. Either I'm melting or I'm surrounded by ACAs--Air Conditioning Abusers. I should NOT be shivering in a building when it's 88 degrees outside. I don't like summer. I don't. There. I said it. I don't like to be wicked hot and sticky and sweaty. I don't like it. I would much rather be cold than hot and I will take a nor'easter and a New England winter any time over a nasty humid day, especially since the humidity in the south is agonizing. And I can't do anything with my hair. I'm just a fuzz ball. One flustered, pink, ginger fuzz ball. 

This is not my week. 
I was defeated by sugar cookies. Sugar cookies. Seriously? 
Curse them. I don't even like sugar cookies.

 I'm going on a baking strike. 

Make Way For Ducklings

I was on my way to yoga tonight, I stopped at a red light and looked over across the intersection and saw two ducks looking to make sure no traffic was coming before they waddled across the street.

It was the cutest thing. 

As the light turned green I looked in my side mirror and kept thinking, Come on little ones! Hurry up!!! Good news, they made it safely and after that all I could think of was the book "Make Way for Ducklings." 

Yoga kicked my butt tonight...and my thighs...and everything else...and I loved it.

And now, another Dr. W story for your reading pleasure:

I have a patient with diabetes (I KNOW, shocker. I hope you were sitting when you read that). As I was doing my assessment I was asking her if she checks her blood sugars at home, what her numbers are, if she's had a hemoglobin A1c checked, etc. Well her numbers weren't good and she told me she had her A1c checked and it was high. Never good. So I wanted to check one because...I wanted to see because...it's helpful with education, which she said she'd like more of. Wonderful. So, at staffing in between patients I turned to the delightful Dr. W:

"Dr. W, may I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"May I ask you another one."

"You just did." 

"May I ask you a few questions???"

"Yes, go ahead." (At this point he's smirking at his wit and sass and I'm smirking because I'm throwing it right back at him and I'm prepared...you'll see. Read on).

"Well the patient in room [whatever] has diabetes and I know it's not her primary diagnosis but she told me her blood sugars are high and her A1c the last time it was checked was high and I'd like to check it here because I believe it will be a helpful education tool to use when I give her more education, which SHE requested." (Please note, in true Gabe fashion, this was spoken as fast yet as clearly as possible (which means probably nearly incomprehensible) without any breaths in between. Thank you New England for teaching me to walk, talk, and be fast. Thank you Mom for cursing/blessing me with the ability to speak fast (which means I speak even faster than your average New Englander). 

I paused and let him process this...for about 4 seconds and continued:

"I mean, you don't have to but I think it would help."

"'I don't have to?' Oh thank you for telling me what I can and cannot do." Dr. W smirked (getting his pen out) and was getting a little sassy. And I started to giggle.

"NO! That's not what I meant! I just meant that, you know, if you don't think it's really beneficial and would be a waste, especially since it's not her primary diagnosis, I am prepared to accept your decline. BUT. I'm just saying that it would be helpful. Unless you want her back in here for renal failure secondary to uncontrolled diabetes which may have been prevented had I struck home after getting that A1c number and using that as I educated her."

He cocked his head, listening to my not-so-subtle-plea but well thought out and urgently delivered argument. 

"Fine."

Score 1 for the dietitian!!! *victory dance*

 I am always prepared to bring my A game for my patients.

Random thought.

I am, at any given moment, quite seriously tempted to throw responsibility and caution to the wind, quit my job and move to Europe. I am SO SICK of watching other people get to live my dreams. I'm sick of it. I'll just move to Italy, find some random job working as the hired help in some quaint little shop or restaurant, be adopted and taken in by the elderly and adorable shop owner and his wife. They'll teach me to cook, I'll be blissfully happy, and then her handsome, gentlemanly Italian son will come for a visit, we'll fall madly in love and I will have an Italian mother-in-law whom I will love, adore, and cherish, live in a foreign country, and be an awesome cook. And travel throughout all of Europe with the love of my life.

Don't. Dash. My. Dream.

*sigh*

Since I will not throw caution to the wind tonight (but don't tempt me, I'm nearing my breaking point people),  I will make a french baguette tomorrow (since I have yet to find a place to buy a decent blasted baguette in this bread-forsaken place) while dreaming of buying an authentic baguette at une boulangerie et du fromage and munching on them while sitting on the grass in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Picture from here

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

This is how I feel today. Ever have those days or weeks where all you want to do is scream? Yeah? No way! Me too!

This week that turtle is me.

I am totally, utterly, and completely mystified. I'm stumped. Confused. Frustrated. Flustered. Speechless. Numb. I have so many emotions zipping around inside I can't pick one. Here's the thing. I don't bottle well. Noooooo no. Baaaaad idea. Because then when either (a) implode, it's just an emotional mess or (b) explode, it's a verbal, tearful, mess.

What's the cause of such a state? The main thing, oh gosh isn't it always, a boy. Kill me now. BUT it's exasperated by a horrid, horrid paper I had to write. I had no idea what I was doing. Writing is my thing. I have very few talents but writing is one of them I'd like to think, and today I felt like the worst writer ever. An epic failure. It was a horrible feeling. So on top of the stupid boy, I felt like a failure of the prose. Good heavens. What a week. Somehow I remain optimistic. Must be genetic. Thanks Mom.

New week please.

On the plus side, I bowled a 184 on Thursday.

Four strikes in a row my friends, FOUR. This NEVER happens to me. NEVER! But it did! Pinch me!!! And you want to know what the icing on this perfect moment was? My basketball idol, Jimmer Fredette, who YES is also in the class with me and YES was bowling in the lane next to me, commented on my 4 strikes in a row. Oh yah! Oh yah! Oh yah! Made my day. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! It was so awesome.

frustrated

Generally I'm a very organized person. I'm a bit of a neat freak. Just to give you an idea: when I get my syllabi at the beginning of the semester, I mark down all the dates on my calendar, color-coded by class. Let's just be honest: I'm an obsessive neat freak.
This semester has completely thrown a wrench into my well-oiled, fine-functioning ways. I have more assignments than I know what to do with; I have a test every week and these are not tests you can cram for; I don't have enough time in a day to get everything done I need to and I hate it. I can never get to bed before 12am and I have to get up anywhere from 6:30am to 7:30am. I am an organized person I swear but this semester I feel frazzled, unorganized, and flustered---frustrated. I have a test tomorrow I don't think I'm going to do well in and the sad thing is, I should do well on it considering is a class for my major and therefore future occupation. Sometimes I just feel like a failure.
I will be ok....deep breath.....I will be ok.....deep breath.....I will be ok. I just need to make it to Thanksgiving and then CA here I come!!!