Normally I try to be very sweet and accommodating of my patients. Being in the hospital, let's face it, sucks and it's obnoxious having people poke and prod you, and come in and out all day and night long. Today was an exception. No-More-Miss-Nice-Dietitian. I have a patient--whom we'll call AB--who has diabetes and now renal problems. Shocker. That's what happens when you are non-compliant and morbidly obese...you're kidneys fail!!!! Oh and don't worry that AB just had to have an amputation, another "perk" of non-compliance. Take it from me, if you have type 2 diabetes, CONTROL IT or you will be sorry: possible amputations, possible blindness, possible kidney failure, and hey-the more research is done-the longer the list gets. PEOPLE. EAT SMALLER PORTIONS AND EXERCISE!!!!! This is not rocket science and it is NOT hard. Fun fact: Type 2 diabetes is almost completely preventable. WHAAAT?! Yes, true statement. Anyway, AB and AB's family asked for me to come in because they had...questions. Right. NOT. It was a whining session about how AB didn't like AB's diet and there weren't enough preferences and AB was getting sick of ordering the same thing and just wanted a burger and fries from Chick-Fil-A.
Comic from hereUh, OK. You want a what? Chil-Fil-A burger? French fries? With added salt? Really? Really?
Well I want lower insurance rates, and an extra 10K added to my meager salary for having to put up with people like you, and lots of other things but for starters, it'd be nice if you and people like you would get off their lazy butts, exercise, eat right, take care of yourself, take responsibility for yourself and your health, and take preventable measures so our insurance rates and medical costs would quick going through the roof. Wow, never though it that way have you??? Nope, bet ya didn't. And NO you cannot have a burger and french fries. Your KIDNEYS ARE FAILING YOU. Bad news buster and no I will not ease up on your diet restrictions. This is not Burger King. You cannot have it your way. This is a hospital. You are clearly here for a reason (or several) and it's now my responsibility to care for you and make sure you have received the best care and education I can provide or it's my neck on the line. So no, you cannot have fries, fried chicken, salt galore, and whatever fluids you want. You might not care about the remainder of your limbs and functioning organs but I do. So too bad.
Did I actually say all of that? No. Heavens no. I would like to keep my job thank you. But you BETTER believe I thought it. I did get frank with AB and AB's daughter and inform them that I would not change AB's diet and I cannot change the entire menu just to please AB because AB is getting tired of the food. I educated them, which helped, and walked out fuming inside. FOR THE LOVE!!!
And in other news, I downloaded Spotify, which is like some fancy, schmancy version of iTunes but connected to Facebook and allows you to add music to your library without downloading it BUT you can't load it onto your iPod. Well, silly me. I allowed Spotify to completely erase my iPod and then reload everything using its program. BAD NEWS. Stupid program. It messed up all my playlists and I was not happy. My running playlist was masterfully arranged in just the right way for my runs and it was ruined. Bugger. And THE WORST of it is, I had calibrated the Nike+ sensor to help me train (not that it's really that accurate but consistency people, consistency! It helped me gauge my progress!) and such and Spotify completely erased my calibration. I was SO ticked today when I was running because now I have no idea what my pace is and I had carefully and tediously calibrated it over the summer. I'm mad.
But I found a new song to add to my "Guilty Pleasures" playlist by Chris Brown and The Biebs and I am a fan!!! The beat is tight and their voices are fantastic. Don't judge, I bet you'd secretly be tapping your toes and grooving along to the beat with me. And, Ladies Night Out tomorrow to see "This is War"! I'm very excited. You had me at Chris Pine.
Photo from here